I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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