Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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