We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
