I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
It's never too late to be topless.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
