The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
