dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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