after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm too high and old for this...
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
