We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize
