Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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