trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
