Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
