i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Randomize
