You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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