We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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