I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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