I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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