Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
