I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
okay pat passed out under dana's car
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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