I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
