Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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