dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
