The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
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