ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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