yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Randomize
