I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
