Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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