You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
