Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
