I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
