: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
