yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Rumble strips road head = magical
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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