Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
