There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
