Don't you send me to vm
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
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