whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
