Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
