well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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