No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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