i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
