I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
