My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
