absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
