I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
