It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
