is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
