u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
everyone is single if you try hard enough
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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