All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
