woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize