Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(480): View more from Arizona

I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.

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(315): View more from New York

You smell like a Billy Joel song

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(904): View more from Florida

at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot

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(303): View more from Colorado

so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name

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(442): View more from California

her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.

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(252): View more from North Carolina

We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground

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(574): View more from Indiana

No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you

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(917): View more from New York City

I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?

(651): View more from Minnesota

I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'

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