Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
