hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
