yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
