The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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