You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
We need to get me chipped asap
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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