It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
