we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
