yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
