If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Alive.
So much puke
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
