You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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